I'm Sorry
by NorthernSupernova
Summary: It's been a few days since Yuuya's death and Sakuya isn't handling this all too well. {BBL SPOILERS, AU. PLEASE IGNORE THE AN.}


_**(AN;**_

_**Aaaah, I recently just finish BBL for the first time... Lets just say that kind of ruined me. Anyway...~! This shall be my first story for this fandom~. Forgive me if... Anything is wrong in regards of Holiday Star. Though, perhaps it doesn't matter regarding the fact this is set after a few days after BBL? I dunno, I just dont necessarily wish to get bashed for getting something wrong as I have yet to see anything for Holiday Star~. Well, anyway, if something condridicts it, think of this as an AU! A very, very, terribly made, AU!**_

_**Okay, this probably makes no sense. Please ignore this. I'm sorry.**_

_**Alright, I'll stop rambling now.)**_

* * *

The light blue-haired male rested besides the small, isolated grave. How long... Has everything been? Regarding the entire Humans VS St. Pigeonnation's feat...? Ah, to Sakuya, it felt as if it happened yesterday. He could still remember it. Ryouta... Was still sitting around with presumably Hiyoko; the doctors gun wounds were starting to heal; Nanaki has seemingly lightened up again after the whole thing with Nageki... But... Was he the only one who still felt upset?

Then again, how could he not feel upset? His own brother... Died right in front of him. Thanks to the doctor. He still hated that fact... Someone whom he trusted so much just to do something like that! ...Ah, oh well. It doesn't matter right now, right? Of course not. It could take some time but justice will come if it hadn't already.

"Yuuya..." Sakuya murmured, watching the grave marker as if waiting for the damn man to pop out of the soil and yell out: "Surprise! I knew you cared!". But, no. It didn't happen. Of course it didn't happen. It was foolish to even assume such a thing would happen. Sakazaki Yuuya was indeed... No more. "Everything happened so quickly then... Half of those birds bursting into the room like lunatics... Your death... Everything during that time..." Sakuya sighed. He was talking to himself, he was well aware of it too. But did it really matter? He still had his pride and wouldn't talk to anyone else about it. They would all tell him what he was thinking: "Sorry for your loss, but it's best you forget about him". Or... Something like that, really.

Slowly, the light blue-haired male placed a hand on top of the cold stone, soon followed by his forehead resting on said hand. "I look like an idiot. Fuck... I messed up, huh? All this time I was doing what father had said... To not associate with commoners and mongrels and whatnot. If only you had told me we were full-blooded brothers... I wouldn't have treated you so harshly. Dammit, I wouldn't be feeling so much guilt for it!" Sakuya's vision was starting to become hazy, he tightly closed his eyes to cure of it but that only resulted in tears streaming down the fantail's face.

He was crying. He wanted to stop crying but he couldn't bring himself to. Why was he so worked up about it now? Right after the event happened, he was shook up about it but he was relatively fine afterwards. So... Why now... Why now did he feel as if everything was meaningless!? He was just upset about the death of his brother, he would be fine. Everything would resume back to normal in a few days, if not weeks.

But would it really? How would Ryouta be when he returned? Wasn't Hiyoko pretty much dead? She wouldn't be in class nor... Would he see Yuuya again.

Bah, just thinking of the retched mongrel made him feel as if he were to shout out and burst into a hysterical crying fit. He wouldn't allow anyone to see him like this. It would be embarrassing. It would ruin his cool mien everyone seemed to know him by. Perhaps just creating a facade would be better until he didn't feel as if it were his fault anymore? Just for a while. Nothing wrong with that, it wouldn't stay, no harm in it.

Sakuya didn't bother to push back the lump in his throat now. He allowed himself to cry. He didn't even shiver when he felt a sudden coldness around his body... As if it were the ghost of his brother hugging him for reassurance that he would indeed be okay.

About ten minutes had passed since he began crying, Sakuya wiped his eyes and took many deep breathes until he looked presentable again. Well, he hoped he looked presentable again. Slowly, the male arose onto his feet. No use dwelling over this now. It was pointless. Perhaps some other time? He had things to do. He spent more time than he even wanted to here.

"Coo! (Has Sakuya finally shown his true colours?)"

Hearing the familiar sound, Sakuya instantly snapped his head around to see the fellow fantail. "S-San!?" Sakuya yelped. How much did he see...? "How long have you been there!?" He tried to make his voice sound as stable as possible, though, it cracked slightly. Hopefully Okosan wouldn't have noticed. So he tried to play it off.

"Coo! Coo~! (Okosan would imagine just enough! Okosan imagined that Sakuya would be here if he weren't in school!)"

Sakuya sighed. "Hrn... Whatever you say, Oko." He grumbled before pausing. "…You do not tell anyone of on what you saw, alright, mongrel?" Sakuya huffed, crossing his arms while glaring at the bird.

If possible(which it most likely wasn't), a wide grin spread across Okosan's beak. "Cooo! (Okosan gives his word to not tell another soul!)"

The light blue-haired man let out a sigh of relief. "Good. Now, let's go..." With a coo of approval from Okoan, the two males walked out of the graveyard. All the way with Okosan and parting, Sakuya tried his hardest not to break down in sobs.

The facade must be done... Only for a while. That's it. No one would even know he was still bothered by the death of Yuuya.


End file.
